i once loved someone
yeah! it was so long ago… but i clearly remember that at some point in my life I loved someone and felt love for that person…and that person felt the same way….amazing ah!
it’s been so long since I don;t have a bf or a date..not because I don’t want it..but because I decided to live MY LIFE as LONER…yeah! i did..like all those loner heros from movies or books that admire so much.
I discovered that solitude is not bad, actually is the only thing that let me sleep at night. I am still not ready to take that step again.you know… couple life uhhh!! 
it kind of releases my sold from pain ..i know! i sound sooo EMO…(and there is nothing wrong with that either) but that is not my style.
have you ever found yourself not feeling anything? like…. nothing. i do feel exited for some things, and happy most of the time.. but is something that i like to call the ultimate happiness …i am happy with myself and with the things i have accomplished so far..i do not need anyone to make me happy…
should i feel proud about it??????????……………………….
musika!!!
ahhh!!! que mas quisiera yo poder vivir todo el dia escuchando musica…i mean…seria maravilloso que en cada momento que vivimos una cancion fuera tokada , ya saben , de esas que reflejan perfectamente la the way you feel
i guess the ipod is the best option for living a life like that…but ahh!! i once did that “being in my world while i listen to my kick ass music” but it is so hard being separated from it when someone want you to pay attention to them or something like that.
i love setting my radio on itunes and listen to one of the alternative radio station called GIMME NOISE!
FUCK IS SOOOO GOOD!!! i totally recommend it . in case you like indie rock new and old school.. you know..
wrong reasons for right tattoos
should i get exited and happy about seeing a guy who is not even available? to me , he is just a friend, a reliable guy who i can count on. although I kind of once tried to kiss him. but maybe he already forgot about that, uuuffff!!his bday is coming on wednesday, the same day i am picking up my bike, so i told him to join me, but he’ll probably rather to so something different that day .why do we like people who are just not into us? maybe deep inside all of us we are masochist. I admit I am one of those, but I no longer look for painful pleasure in love, now I get tattoos..the feeling of the needle scratching my skin gives me so much joy, nothing can compare to it. this are the next tattoos i am planning to get, the cupcake is in honor of my beautiful niece, Amanda, and the cherries is just because they’re sexy..i am planning to get them behind my right ear. 
the stupid things we do to get a guy
I promised(not to myself, but my mom) i was going to change this year..and with that I mean, stop sleeping with random guys 2 days after i meet them.is not easy..i really like sex..maybe because I cannot simple picture myself building a relationship based in communication or affection, i like feeling love, but in my own free way.most of the people i know are involved in relationships while I’d been by myself for almost 2 years,(THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT) but i already learned how to be my own, I do not longer need anyone to go anywhere or do anything. the idea of seeing a couple holding hands makes me puke, and i do not understand why would someone will surrender to their personal dreams just to follow someone else’s .one of my dearest friends is spending the weekend with me at my place, i love her, but honestly, i want to be alone i know, i know..be careful on what you wish for it might come true, but in case , i am already alone, and is by choice.although i am just 22 , i feel i don’t have the time to get to know anyone all over again…i still have hope one day i’ll know someone who would change my decision, but just that because i’ve also noticed that people expect to be saved by someone else, but have they stopped to think that maybe they are the one supposed to do it by their own?i believe we all should try. it takes time, and is painful, yeah! like a bitch!!(i love that word)but it leaves us with a better feeling ..if we learn to be alone we can do anything, we will no longer feel vulnerable in front an empty room, i guess is the same relief that a writer feels in front of a white sheet of paper. is not that hard , start trying
Things I deserve
in the past year, i start feeling that nothing good was about to come for me.let me explain myself, I came to Toronto 1 year 1/2 ago, not that I complain ,but not everything was smooth and pretty from the begging.no matter how hard I tried , getting into something was a bitch for me, but not for my friends, somehow as the moment they got here, they got jobs, adventures, and yes! love.I seriously thought I was not meant to be in this place, but recently events had given me a different and totally new point of view(a better one of course)I got accepted to participate as a volunteer on the coming L’OREAL Toronto Fashion week. how cool is that? :3 and I am also starting my internship in a company called Monster factory, they make stuffed monsters , I’ll be in charge of sewing them (wish me luck with that) on wednesday I’ll be the proudly owner of a kick ass red vintage bike (promise not complain by money again,lol)THE POINT IS…… good things do happen!!!!!! the things is they do not come as easy as we would want it to, sometimes you have to fight. and If you are patience enough they’ll come to stay, that is what makes them different from the rest of the others. here’s a picture of one of the greatest things in my life….
